I sulk. I get enslaved by the compulsions. Disproportionately meticulous and perfectionistic. The ticking of the clock annoys me. People doing what they do again and again agitates the normalcy of my brain as it does in their sheer presence. It makes me sick and want to speak of words defined to condescend, but senseless when uttered. Crumbs on the bed or in between the hairs of the carpet crack my head like a puzzle unsolved or a mystery undefined. Lazy people crouched and unmindful make me shiver in disgust. Irresponsible, absent-minded people boil my blood in a constantly high temperature. They loiter. Garbage originated from them. Disarrangement is the result of their filthy actions. Yes it does, it gets into me when I allow myself to be present in the world where you move around. This is my place, too, as a mortal who lives and dies. But I don't get along too well with your place. As ungenerous as spitting me out of the loop and as feelingless and careless as the earth's gravitational pull keeping me back to your ground. Freedom of choice does not count living on earth or living up to the expectations of being here. I call this a trap. I get all the understatements first before acceptance. But acceptance is in itself an understatement by terminating all possibilities and taking up clinical condition as an acknowledgement of such behavior. I could not even fathom the worst part--that whatever I have now is the result of your world's sickening behavior towards me!
But I see that you are happy effortlessly.
And I need to have my rituals first before I even get comfortable.
Are these the words of one who suffers from OCPD*? Or is just bitter?
--------------------
*The phrase obsessive–compulsive has become part of the English lexicon, and is often used in an informal or caricatured manner to describe someone who is excessively meticulous, perfectionistic, absorbed, or otherwise fixated. Although these signs are present in OCD, a person who exhibits them does not necessarily have OCD, and may instead have obsessive–compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), an autism spectrum disorder, or no clinical condition. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive–compulsive_disorder)
