There are repeatedly unrelenting steps back every sunrise and a temporary release of burden on a sundown as if every single day is an obligatory visit to hell. Worst, as if this has been the result of a contract we were all forced to sign.
That momentary desire to escape and the endless hope to put oneself into countless years of slumber. That illimitable imagery of worlds unknown to what was presented, as if the present is a scientific failure we all have to suffer. Even worst, as if we were locked up and forbidden of choice but to invent weapons to beat impermanence.
Billions of us believe that we are in a battle and that survival means one has to take another down and step up. For billions of years, us none-the-wiser built a battlefield we've mistaken for intelligent move. Up to this day, we chose to ignore a simultaneously existing angle that maybe there is no battle after all.
That moment of inescapable lingering thoughts of abhorrence, my true self seems to have developed mistrust of what our minds, the footloose engineer of all sorts have chosen to concretize.
Because, every desire to disappear, every hope to disconnect and every despising moment is rejection of the gift.
And, rejection of being is acceptance of misery. In that case, the wait will be painfully long and the agony is as excruciating as no one can imagine.
But, a coin can always be flipped and time, illusionary and abstract as it may seem is patient enough to wait for that moment of toss and give light to the other side.
The choice is always yours and the coin is in your hand.
Always has been.
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